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EARLY AUTUMN-- By Langston Hughes（1902-1967）
When Bill was very young, they had been in love. Many nights they had spent walking, talking together. Then something not very important had come between them, and they didn’t speak. Impulsively, she had married a man she thought she loved. Bill went away, bitter about women.
Yesterday, walking across Washington Square, she saw him for the first time in years.
“Bill Walker,” she said.
He stopped. At first he did not recognize her, to him she looked so old.
“Mary! Where did you come from?”
Unconsciously, she lifted her face as though wanting a kiss, but he held out his hand. She took it.
“I live in New York now,” she said.
“Oh” — smiling politely. Then a little frown came quickly between his eyes.
“Always wondered what happened to you, Bill.”
“I’m a lawyer. Nice firm, way downtown.”
“Married yet?”
“Sure. Two kids.”
“Oh,” she said.
A great many people went past them through the park. People they didn’t know. It was late afternoon. Nearly sunset. Cold.
“And your husband?” he asked her.
“We have three children. I work in the bursar’s office at Columbia.”
“You’re looking very . . .” (he wanted to say old) “. . . well,” he said.
She understood. Under the trees in Washington Square, she found herself desperately reaching back into the past. She had been older than he then in Ohio. Now she was not young at all. Bill was still young.
“We live on Central Park West,” she said. “Come and see us sometime.”
“Sure,” he replied. “You and your husband must have dinner with my family some night. Any night. Lucille and I’d love to have you.”
The leaves fell slowly from the trees in the Square. Fell without wind. Autumn dusk. She felt a little sick.
“We’d love it,” she answered.
“You ought to see my kids.” He grinned.
Suddenly the lights came on up the whole length of Fifth Avenue, chains of misty brilliance in the blue air.
“There’s my bus,” she said.
He held out his hand. “Good-bye.”
“When . . .” she wanted to say, but the bus was ready to pull off. The lights on the avenue blurred, twinkled, blurred. And she was afraid to open her mouth as she entered the bus. Afraid it would be impossible to utter a word.
Suddenly she shrieked very loudly. “Good-bye!” But the bus door had closed.
The bus started. People came between them outside, people crossing the street, people they didn’t know. Space and people. She lost sight of Bill. Then she remembered she had forgotten to give him her address — or to ask him for his — or tell him that her youngest boy was named Bill too.
Early autumn 我的另类解读----为BILL 平反
读完Langston Hughs的early autumn，感觉小小的一篇文章里可以挖掘的东西真是很多。主要是说男人容易遗忘爱情，女人往往容易深陷爱情幻想中难以自拔！
但是我不得不为bill辩解一下，我觉得bill 没有忘情！
我的证据：
1. bill 被mary抛弃时，他是比较年轻，他离开，bitter about women。
从这些可以推断，他比较年轻，很有可能mary 是他的初恋，再加上mary是比他大的，男性一般都有“恋母情节”，被年长的女性的成熟魅力所吸引。对于失恋的痛苦，这个bitter囊括了各种滋味。而相关的失恋心理学资料显示：
“当面临失恋时，男性的自尊或许会使他表面平静地接受这一事实，而孤独地发泄自痛苦的情绪。事实上，失恋对于男性的打击是巨大的，有时也许会摧垮他的人生信念，使他的生活勇气 失殆尽，从而导致他匆匆地终止生命的追求。因为客观的社全现实赋予男性更多的义务、责任、希望和要求，同样的失败结局，男性往往比女性要承担更多的来自自我及社会的压力。因此，对不少的男性来说被迫失去女方的爱，在精神上是不可接受的，这会使他的心理产生“连锁反应”，进而影响整个心理品质和人生态度。现实生活中，有的男子品尝了一杯失恋的苦酒后就一劂不振，郁郁欢变得孤独而沉默。”
http://www.hudong.com/wiki/%E5%A4%B1%E6%81%8B%E5%BF%83%E7%90%86
（但不是很权威的资料）
也可以说，这个失恋的经验可能对bill今后的生活产生很大的影响。歌德的《少年维特之烦恼》可以作为一个参考。（我还没有机会阅读，等读完之后，在对我的论证加以完善）
2. 相遇时，bill没有立即认出mary，因为她看上去很老。无意识的伸手而不是kissing，我觉得可能是自我防御机制。（弗洛伊德提出的）。因为心中长期痛苦，内心会本能的选择保护，而刻意回避一些可能会一起痛苦的情境。是一种无意识的行为。
3. bill 是个律师，但是从两个人的对话中，我发现，mary反而讲话自然从容，而bill的很多话都显得短促而紧张，这与他一个律师的形象很不服，作为一个律师自然是在任何情况下都处变不惊的，这样的表现可能暗示了bill 内心的波涛汹涌，年少时的爱情的痛苦都涌上心头，对于这个他爱过的女人（现在爱还是不爱，我很难说），到底是恨还是坦然，很明显的，如果坦然就不必急着炫耀自己的身份家庭，不用这么急着说再见。他始终还是没有释怀，爱情这个东西很难说，没有坦然就不能说是忘记。
“Mary! Where did you come from?”
“I live in New York now,” she said.
“Oh” — smiling politely.
“Always wondered what happened to you, Bill.”
“I’m a lawyer. Nice firm, way downtown.”
“Married yet?”
“Sure. Two kids.”
“Oh,” she said.
“And your husband?” he asked her.
“We have three children. I work in the bursar’s office at Columbia.”
“You’re looking very . . .” (he wanted to say old) “. . . well,” he said.
“We live on Central Park West,” she said. “Come and see us sometime.”
“Sure,” he replied. “You and your husband must have dinner with my family some night. Any night. Lucille and I’d love to have you.”
“We’d love it,” she answered.
“You ought to see my kids.” He grinned.
“There’s my bus,” she said.
He held out his hand. “Good-bye.”
（Early autumn，Langston Hughs的对话）
4. 作者是从bill的角度引入，但是后面大量描写都是对于mary的，不管是景色还是心理，他将所有的文字都献给了mary，而bill只是作为一个阴影，躲在了文字的背后。最后说byebye后，作者给我们的镜头就是mary，但是想想如果这是镜头在bill前面，he was among the people they didn’t know, 他的表情，他的心理。Space and people。The bus is gone. “这次是我先说的再见！” 但是痛苦还是没有减少。
作者没有给他一个镜头，没有给他心理，bill只是一个影子。从一个导入角色到一个影子角色，从已知到未知，这样的转变，我觉得这个bitter更加扩散了，融进了更大的未知领域。
我的论据大多涉及心理学，心理学这个还是比较难说，但是3，4我觉得还是比较充分，而且我个人觉得还是比较有道理的哈~~~ |
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发表于 2009-12-3 11:53
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